I originally posted this piece on conditioning here, but thought it’d do well on the blog too.
Note: If you decide to try conditioning, I urge you to think it through, as it may possibly have ramifications in other areas of the submissive’s life, especially if you train him to show a specific behavior associated with a certain word or phrase. Also, if it is a play partner, rather than a longer-term relationship, be aware that this sort of conditioning can very much deepen the bond that the submissive feels toward you. I am by no means the authority in this area. I am simply describing my experience. Take it at face value. Your experience and results may differ.
I employ various forms of conditioning with both my submissive and my slave, and very much enjoy it. It's something I started doing very early on in my explorations into BDSM, and have refined and continued as I've gone on. I'll probably offend someone with this analogy, but in order to explain what I do and how I do it, you need a peek into how my head works.
From a very young age, I did a lot of work with animals, especially horses and dogs. I found that the best way to effectively train new behaviors was to be calm, confident, quietly dominant, and patient. It requires a lot of repetition, and reward of small progress, as well as quick appropriate discouragement of undesirable behaviors. It also requires a very focused attention to small details such as body language, changes in breathing, pupil size, skin temperature, and vocalizations. When I began to get more into actually training submissive males, not simply playing with them, I found that I got the best results if I used the same techniques I'd used to train animals.
One technique I routinely employ to condition a submissive to enjoy something I like that he may originally find distasteful or uncomfortable is to do the activity that I want to encourage him to enjoy in conjunction with something I know that arouses him and causes the same reaction that I want to condition him to display.
For example, I had a submissive that would tolerate strapon play only because it was something I enjoy doing. Although "forced" anal play is enjoyable, I wanted it to be something that he was comfortable with and enjoyed. To achieve that result, I began by binding him and teasing him by doing things that aroused him… playing with his nipples, stroking his cock, tugging on his balls, spanking him, etc. When he was erect, squirming in pleasure, and completely focused on the pleasurable sensations I was giving him, I began stroking his rim with a gloved, well lubed finger, and slowly worked that finger into his ass. The entire time, I continued to do all those things I’d started with to arouse him. As I penetrated him, there was a lessening of his erection, so I kept the finger in his ass still, and focused more on increasing his arousal. I continued for quite some time, increasing the depth of penetration, and the fucking action, slowing or stopping only when his arousal decreased.
After several similar sessions, increasing the length and width of penetration, he showed the results I wanted – becoming erect and aroused at just the mention of strapon play. Of course, the entire time I was conditioning him, I was speaking to him in a low voice, repeatedly telling him how much I enjoyed his reaction, how aroused it made me to be penetrating his ass, how much I was going to enjoy fucking him, as well as describing to him in detail how his very visible arousal was affecting me and pleasing me.
I've found that the most effective method of conditioning is to use positive physical reinforcement along with repetitive verbal encouragement given in a low, soothing voice. This is especially effective if the submissive is in subspace, and made to repeat key phrases until his response to a certain stimulus becomes automatic. I've also used negative physical reinforcement, but have found that although it is effective in the short term, it tends not to produce a lasting result or to alter more base reactions. In some ways, the old adage "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" holds true. Conditioning that has a pleasure association rather than one of pain is more easily incorporated into new behaviors.
Note: If you decide to try conditioning, I urge you to think it through, as it may possibly have ramifications in other areas of the submissive’s life, especially if you train him to show a specific behavior associated with a certain word or phrase. Also, if it is a play partner, rather than a longer-term relationship, be aware that this sort of conditioning can very much deepen the bond that the submissive feels toward you. I am by no means the authority in this area. I am simply describing my experience. Take it at face value. Your experience and results may differ.
I employ various forms of conditioning with both my submissive and my slave, and very much enjoy it. It's something I started doing very early on in my explorations into BDSM, and have refined and continued as I've gone on. I'll probably offend someone with this analogy, but in order to explain what I do and how I do it, you need a peek into how my head works.
From a very young age, I did a lot of work with animals, especially horses and dogs. I found that the best way to effectively train new behaviors was to be calm, confident, quietly dominant, and patient. It requires a lot of repetition, and reward of small progress, as well as quick appropriate discouragement of undesirable behaviors. It also requires a very focused attention to small details such as body language, changes in breathing, pupil size, skin temperature, and vocalizations. When I began to get more into actually training submissive males, not simply playing with them, I found that I got the best results if I used the same techniques I'd used to train animals.
One technique I routinely employ to condition a submissive to enjoy something I like that he may originally find distasteful or uncomfortable is to do the activity that I want to encourage him to enjoy in conjunction with something I know that arouses him and causes the same reaction that I want to condition him to display.
For example, I had a submissive that would tolerate strapon play only because it was something I enjoy doing. Although "forced" anal play is enjoyable, I wanted it to be something that he was comfortable with and enjoyed. To achieve that result, I began by binding him and teasing him by doing things that aroused him… playing with his nipples, stroking his cock, tugging on his balls, spanking him, etc. When he was erect, squirming in pleasure, and completely focused on the pleasurable sensations I was giving him, I began stroking his rim with a gloved, well lubed finger, and slowly worked that finger into his ass. The entire time, I continued to do all those things I’d started with to arouse him. As I penetrated him, there was a lessening of his erection, so I kept the finger in his ass still, and focused more on increasing his arousal. I continued for quite some time, increasing the depth of penetration, and the fucking action, slowing or stopping only when his arousal decreased.
After several similar sessions, increasing the length and width of penetration, he showed the results I wanted – becoming erect and aroused at just the mention of strapon play. Of course, the entire time I was conditioning him, I was speaking to him in a low voice, repeatedly telling him how much I enjoyed his reaction, how aroused it made me to be penetrating his ass, how much I was going to enjoy fucking him, as well as describing to him in detail how his very visible arousal was affecting me and pleasing me.
I've found that the most effective method of conditioning is to use positive physical reinforcement along with repetitive verbal encouragement given in a low, soothing voice. This is especially effective if the submissive is in subspace, and made to repeat key phrases until his response to a certain stimulus becomes automatic. I've also used negative physical reinforcement, but have found that although it is effective in the short term, it tends not to produce a lasting result or to alter more base reactions. In some ways, the old adage "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" holds true. Conditioning that has a pleasure association rather than one of pain is more easily incorporated into new behaviors.
