I haven't written here in a while, though I've been around to visit everyone on my blogroll daily. Most of my writing the last month or so has been done in longhand. There's something soothing about the scratch of pen on paper, about watching the ink flow into the lazy curves of my handwriting. My life seems to be moving along swimmingly well lately, and I'm very thankful every day that I'm here, now, doing my thing. The pace of life and work has been hectic, so the moments I steal away to write are a quiet respite away from the computer.

I'm currently considering adding a furry member to my family, as I've got an option to buy a beautiful Arabian mare. I hadn't planned to take this particular step towards my future for a few more months, but it's best to open the door and take a good look at what is there when opportunity knocks. It is gratifying to see that things I'd set in motion over a year ago are maturing, and a bit ahead of schedule at that. I've never been much of one for really long-term plans, since my experience has been that they usually get fucked up. I've reached that point in my life now where it's possible to think further ahead than next week or next month or next year, and actually keep on course to achieve those things I want from life.

I have this song stuck in my head. Normally, this would not be a cause for concern, as it happens rarely, and is usually easily remedied. Not this time.

Those of you with small children, now would be a good time to go find a corner to huddle into and begin to wretch uncontrollably. The rest of you can suffer.

This song is from one of the Veggie Tales videos. I was babysitting my niece and nephew the other day, and one of the DVDs they brought along was a Veggie Tales. For those of you that live in Tibet and have never heard of this children's program, it's an entirely too cheerful, Bible-based animation of vegetables. Talking tomatoes and cucumbers and gourds and peas. All with annoying chirpy little voices. You get the idea.

Anyway, each episode contains a segment called "Silly Songs with Larry." Larry is the talking cucumber. He's not real bright. This episode's silly song was about pirates. You know. Because that fits with an episode called Lyle the Friendly Viking. I won't horrify you with all the lyrics, just the random ones floating around in my head like a swarm of irritated bees.

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you we don’t do anything

Well I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping pong
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes
Up against the wall

And I've never kissed a chipmunk
And I've never gotten head lice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall.

And I've never licked a spark plug
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug
And I've never painted daisies
On a big red rubber ball

And I've never bathed in yogurt
And I don’t look good in leggings
And we've never been to Boston in the fall!

The Annual Sugaring-Up of the Children
A Pictorial Essay

We had quite a weekend, culminating in the terrorizing of the neighborhood last night. The festivities began late Saturday evening with the pumpkin carving. This is an activity that is a little messy at the best of times, but when you throw four children into the mix, it becomes a testament to performance art.

4 children, 6 pumpkins, and several inebriated adults later, the evening was complete. We consider it largely successful, as there was only one child with a carving-induced leak that was quickly remedied with a liberal application of soap and water and a bandaid. The kids each designed their own pumpkin face. Ours is the second from the left. I'm not sure why or how we ended up with a bald alien, but when lit it earned a "freaky pumpkin, dude!" from a passing teenager.

The terrorizing of the neighborhood commenced just after dark Monday evening. Our first stop was the neighbor. He was a little stiff. However, he did start the evening on a good note, as the flow of sweet wonderments in crinkly wrappings began with his contribution.

This stop was besieged by a regiment of ghosties and ghouls and fairies and dragons and ninja turtles. It was touch and go there for a bit, but thankfully they were armed with a deep well of chocolate. They managed to stave off the attack, sending each little beastie screaming contentedly back to its respective parent. I know they're thankful this sort of mayhem happens only once a year.

The tour resulted in quite an impressive take. A pot full of loot is a good thing. Mommy and Daddy taxes were extracted without any loss of life or limb, and eventually the sugar-laced child was sent to bed.

The costume itself was a success, although at one point the hood placement raised the question---Ghost or Klansman? Either is a frightening thing, although the sugar fueled exhausted child underneath is far more terrifying. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The End